Almost every person, no matter where in the world, does the same thing at the same time every year. They tell themselves they will change “something” about their life for the new year and they usually decide it on 31st December – just in time. I’m no different and I have one myself, but it is the same one I’ve had the past couple of years but I’ve never really done anything long term about.
This is the year my life gets turned on its head and everything changes. I know how I want to be and I know what I have to do to achieve my goal – it’s just going to take a lot of work to get there, which is where this site comes in. I know I’ve spoken about this previously in my other posts, but never in this much detail and never have I had a clearer vision of my aims. I will document everything on this site, for all to see, as the extra kick in the backside I need.
Something feels different this year. Something feels like it is genuinely going to change and I have a feeling of anticipation for the first time in my life. I can be the confident and happy guy I know I am within, the same person thats been hiding behind the low self confidence, stuck in his shell and too scared to leave. But it changes, I can leave my shell and become who I want to be and all it takes is willpower. The willpower to think “Should I eat this?” and to say to myself “I should go to the gym”. I want to and will think “I’m going to write a blog later and I have positive thoughts to put into it”
Previously, this blog had an aspect of fun to it and although that element won’t leave in its entirity, it’s going to become a whole lot more serious where I document my thoughts, feelings and desires – bad or good. If you know me and you read this, then understand some of the pains I go through. If you read this and you don’t know me, well I hope you don’t think I’m a crazy rambling fool.
It’s bizarre how this has all come about. I was bored one day and browsing the interweb as a means to cure my boredom and I stumbled onto peoples blogs. Now I know at this point I was already blogging but all my posts were of a fun nature and I’d never looked at them as a way of showing emotion. One of the blogs I stumbled upon was Jennie Ketcham (of becomingjennie.com). Jennie is a recovering drug and sex addict who posts of the fights with her demons in such a public way, whilst her beautiful style of posts helps you to see her life turn around – only today did I read a post of how her relationships are improving – and it is this method of writing I truly admire. So, apologies to Jennie for blatantly stealing ideas from your blog but I will take a leaf out of her book and use my own site as an attempt to sort out my own demons in my own life.
Sorry for my unordered non sensical ramblings, I’m writing as I’m thinking rather than planning out a proper blog post. I feel 1/1 is a perfect date for me to make this detailed post. If you’re still reading at this point – thank you and I hope you’ll continue to follow me on my path, one of which I don’t doubt will have many highs and lows along the way.
That’s all until next time.
Matt.
