Monday, May 10th, 2010
Firstly, I lost time in my blog whilst I was at uni. It took up more time than I ever would have imagined and I lost who I was towards the end – thankfully it’s now over.
The first thing I’m talking about is something which I’m ashamed of. I made the huge post last time about losing weight and what has happened since? I’ve put it on! 
A whole number of factors were the cause – mainly being in Liverpool for university with no time to attend to a gym and a lack of motivation to cook resulting in junk food binges and the piling on of weight. Right now I am at my heaviest but there is one thing I can say with some certainty – it will be my heaviest ever and I will only be going down. You see all the photos of people who have lost a load of weight and they have a before shot and an after shot, well I am going to take a picture today and needless to say, it is my before shot! In a few months I will post the contrast and I want thoughts and feedback even though chances are no-one reads this. Anyway, my basic point is now it’s time and I’ve already taken my first steps on the long path.
Now the grim stuff has gone, I can update properly! Uni is over and whilst at the moment I don’t know what grade I recieved, I am glad it’s over and I have the satisfaction of finishing a course which began with over 60 people and only contained just over 10 in the final 3rd year. Just to pass I would view as a success.
Although uni is over and I’ve began work again for the company I was previously a placement student for, I don’t want to lose the coding knowledge I have stored in my brain so again, I will be posting updates of how my games are going – my first one being “Polygon Wars”. A basic Geometry Wars rip off but good practice non the less so I don’t gain any coding rust. At the same time I would like to gain some web design knowledge so will be following a number of online tutorials – again I will keep my blog posted.
I’m not really sure what else to say and I feel bad that I haven’t posted a photo or anything which make this post seem boring to view but next time I will – I’m due to watch Peter Kay on Thursday with Darryl and Jon so will blog from my iPhone and supply a few photos.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and please leave me a comment – I’m sick of all the spam comments and would like a nice one for once 
Matt x
Tags: daz, Polygon Wars, Random, self confidence, uni, weight, XNA
Posted in General Posts | No Comments »
Friday, January 1st, 2010
Almost every person, no matter where in the world, does the same thing at the same time every year. They tell themselves they will change “something” about their life for the new year and they usually decide it on 31st December – just in time. I’m no different and I have one myself, but it is the same one I’ve had the past couple of years but I’ve never really done anything long term about.
This is the year my life gets turned on its head and everything changes. I know how I want to be and I know what I have to do to achieve my goal – it’s just going to take a lot of work to get there, which is where this site comes in. I know I’ve spoken about this previously in my other posts, but never in this much detail and never have I had a clearer vision of my aims. I will document everything on this site, for all to see, as the extra kick in the backside I need.
Something feels different this year. Something feels like it is genuinely going to change and I have a feeling of anticipation for the first time in my life. I can be the confident and happy guy I know I am within, the same person thats been hiding behind the low self confidence, stuck in his shell and too scared to leave. But it changes, I can leave my shell and become who I want to be and all it takes is willpower. The willpower to think “Should I eat this?” and to say to myself “I should go to the gym”. I want to and will think “I’m going to write a blog later and I have positive thoughts to put into it”
Previously, this blog had an aspect of fun to it and although that element won’t leave in its entirity, it’s going to become a whole lot more serious where I document my thoughts, feelings and desires – bad or good. If you know me and you read this, then understand some of the pains I go through. If you read this and you don’t know me, well I hope you don’t think I’m a crazy rambling fool.
It’s bizarre how this has all come about. I was bored one day and browsing the interweb as a means to cure my boredom and I stumbled onto peoples blogs. Now I know at this point I was already blogging but all my posts were of a fun nature and I’d never looked at them as a way of showing emotion. One of the blogs I stumbled upon was Jennie Ketcham (of becomingjennie.com). Jennie is a recovering drug and sex addict who posts of the fights with her demons in such a public way, whilst her beautiful style of posts helps you to see her life turn around – only today did I read a post of how her relationships are improving – and it is this method of writing I truly admire. So, apologies to Jennie for blatantly stealing ideas from your blog but I will take a leaf out of her book and use my own site as an attempt to sort out my own demons in my own life.
Sorry for my unordered non sensical ramblings, I’m writing as I’m thinking rather than planning out a proper blog post. I feel 1/1 is a perfect date for me to make this detailed post. If you’re still reading at this point – thank you and I hope you’ll continue to follow me on my path, one of which I don’t doubt will have many highs and lows along the way.
That’s all until next time.
Matt.
Tags: becomingjennie, new year, self confidence, weight
Posted in General Posts | No Comments »
Saturday, December 5th, 2009
I feel like I’m just not getting anywhere this week.
No matter what I do, what I read or write, I just do not seem to be progressing and I feel I’m no closer to my ever looming deadlines. I have a presentation to give which is crucial towards my Project marks, yet I’m a very poor presentation giver and I have to complete our coursework in an Object Orientated way which I personally don’t think is enough but we will have to make do with the time we have left. As of next Thursday, I’m done with deadlines in the short run – it goes onto the start of January so I can balance my work out over Christmas. I cannot wait to have my life back.
Now, and for now I’m only mentioning this briefly but I will go more in depth when I have time, I’m stuck in a rut of low self confidence. It’s low to the point where I get myself down over it – in turn taking away more self confidence. Living back in uni has screwed my weight, causing me to put back on the 1/2 stone or so I lost in the month or so prior and I feel like it’s ballooned me. This has to change and I will endeavour to change this – this time publically as it may be the thing I need which keeps me spurred on. Knowing people will be reading and being able to track my progress is that little extra boost which could help me.
I know this was only meant to be brief, but it is compared to the new post I’ll add at some point soon.
Thanks for the support on FB, Twitter etc.
Tags: deadlines, self confidence, social life, uni, weight
Posted in General Posts | 5 Comments »
